For those of you who don’t know. I’m home now. I’d write more, but non of it is ever read so. I’ll leave it at that.

So tonight will be my last night at home for the next 4 - 6 days. For everyone not aware, I’m having surgery tomorrow (Wed, March 26th) at approximately 9:00 am. I’m having a spinal fusion with some extra gear (not the technical term) that will, after 8 excruciating years, finally fix my back. And to all who are asking if the Marines or the VA is taking care of this, I offer up to you a resounding, Fuck No. The VA has screwed me at every single turn. I wasted 3 hours there this past friday for a re-evaluation and found out that the (insert explitive here) doctor wasn’t actually doing a re-evaluation. They were just getting me into the system again. I GOT OUT OF THE SYSTEM FOR THIS EXACT REASON. The last doctor I saw at the VA said that it was all in my head and there was nothing wrong with my back. Awesome. Regardless.

To everyone who has written, offered up prayers or lit a candle thus burning down your house thank you and now I’ll offer up my prayers for you now. =) Seriously thanks for all the good wishes. I really appreciate it.

For anyone who wants to know what the last 8 years have been like, picture this. You wake up and try to get out of bed. You can’t. You try again. Pain radiates from your back to your legs through your toes and then back up again. After 10 minutes you finally roll out of bed, just to collapse to your knees on the ground. After staggering up, using the bed as support (or your wife =) ) you walk to the bathroom… hunched over and leaning to one side - not intentionally. In the time it takes you to get to the bathroom a normal person would have pissed and flushed by now. That’s the first 30 minutes of your day. I’d bore you with the rest of the 23 and a half hours, but I think you get the point.

To anyone who’s helped me up when I’ve fallen, thank you. To those of you who’ve doubted my injury, fuck you. To everyone who’s never experienced this, bless you. To the ones who’ve endured the pain, I understand you.

To my wife whom without, I could not have gotten to this point or through this… Thank you. I love you. You are incredible.

Ok…I have a few things I need to get off my chest here. So far this year has had its ups and its downs! Where to begin on this?! Well let’s see, first we are living with my parents. Which is fine; but we are doing that to save money. Also fine; more recently some things have happened. Which no I will not say specifically…but things have happened which have made me question friendships. I have someone that I thought to be my friend. She did me a favor as I did her one also. We helped each other out with a problem we both had. Then out of nowhere it’s like that meant nothing to her! Now I’m sitting here trying to figure out what in the world happened. I’m absolutely baffled by this situation that has risen suddenly. One minute things are good…everthing is looking up…then BAM! smack in the face. Am I the only one out there who friendship means anything to?! I just don’t understand. A little warning at least would have been nice. Instead of blindsidding me with this out of nowhere. The excuses don’t matter to me, obviously I treat people who I thought were my friends completely different then they treat people.
That do unto others as you would have them do unto you…pfft! {F}Forget-that!
It doesn’t seem to work for me! If I treated people the way they seem to treat me; then watch out. That would be horrible for my friends. But I don’t. *Sigh*
It doesn’t matter anymore right now anyway. What’s done is done. Can’t go back now! I {We} will just get through this, because that is what we do!

**One other good thing that has happened though…John is gonna have his surgery soon. March 26, 2008! Text or call me for more info on that! : )